Following renovations that cost Miami-Dade County taxpayers more than $25 billion, American Airlines Arena, home of the Miami Heat, is fully operational. The most noticeable feature of the updated venue is its resemblance to the Death Star, the planet-destroying metallic orb from the Star Wars films.
“I can’t say enough good things about the new arena,” Heat star LeBron James said. “The design perfectly captures what me, D-Wade and Chris [Bosh] are trying to accomplish with this team.”
Miami Heat Head General Manager and Grand Moff Pat Riley added that the expansion offers an additional 150,000 seats for fans.
“Granted, most of those will be unfilled until the playoffs start, but the massive, cavernous setting will definitely be intimidating to opposing teams,” Riley explained. “Plus, there’s plenty of parking available now.”
Shortly after its unveiling, details about a critical flaw in the structure, which becomes exclusively vulnerable during the fourth quarter of basketball games, were leaked to the media. However, team officials downplayed the importance of this revelation.
“This arena is now the ultimate power in the universe,” Riley said. “Any attempts at beating us here would be a useless gesture, no matter what technical data they’ve obtained.”
By Brian Summerfield. Photoshop by Pat Lamorte.