In the wake of learning that its fabled football program will be ineligible to play in any bowl game next year, Ohio State University’s athletic department has made an offer of concessions to the NCAA. In a statement released Friday, OSU Athletic Director Gene Smith said that the school is offering the NCAA old memorabilia and the “The” before its name as a means for reinstatement.
“We’ve got ample experience in the area of trading jerseys, rings, and banners for cool stuff,” said Smith. “It’s worked before. I’m sure it will work again. At a minimum, I’ll get that new official NCAA logo tattoo I’ve been wanting.”
In addition, the school has also offered to drop the annoying “The” from the beginning of the pronunciation of the school’s name.
“Let’s face it,” stated Smith, “It annoys the hell out of everybody when we say ‘THE Ohio State University.’ Damn. It even annoys me.”
Considering the pure amount of fan enjoyment to be had from the dropping of the aggravating moniker, NCAA president, Mark Emmert, has said the NCAA will actually consider the offer.
“If it means we can watch a Monday Night Football game without hearing some OSU-dropout-thug imply that he graduated from THE Ohio State University,” said Emmert, “It seems to be a win-win for all involved.”