With the official announcement of their signing of closer Frank Francisco, the New York Mets have completed their preseason goal to sign two mediocre relief pitchers to get the team’s fan base excited. Along with the signing of 6’11” middle reliever Jon Rauch earlier in free agency, Mets’ general manager Sandy Alderson has finally accomplished his previously stated goal of putting together a team that is perfectly mediocre.

“I couldn’t be prouder at the news that our team has officially reached a PTI (Positive Talent Index) value of 0,” Alderson said on vacation in Hawaii, while other MLB GMs were working furiously to improve their teams through free agents and trades. “PTI measures the mediocrity of a professional sports team. A score of 0 means the team is perfectly mediocre. Last year, we were at a -1,234 PTI value, while the Yankees were at around a 5,000 PTI. Now, with my mediocre signings and trades, we are completely average as a team and we are going to stay that way. I can’t stress enough that this team will not be getting better at all. Rather, we will be getting more and more mediocre.”

A PTI value of 0 is highly rare amongst MLB teams, and has not been recorded since the 2008 San Diego Padres, a franchise that was being run by, surprisingly, Alderson. The current Mets roster was able to reach a 0 value because the team’s two good players, David Wright and Ike Davis, were neutralized by the team’s horrendous players, like D.J. Carrasco and Mike Pelfrey. The rest of the roster is made up of completely average and mediocre players, such as Josh Thole, and the newly signed Jon Rauch and Frank Francisco.

By Josh Burton, Follow me on Twtter: @Josh_Burton1