Mike McQueary has been discussed ad nausea following the child sex-abuse scandal at Penn State University. There have been calls for his dismissal as wide receivers coach and threats made on his life if he were to be on the sidelines of Nittany Lions’ games.
Now McQueary is hearing it from his own kind.
The National Association for the Advancement of Gingered People has decided they no longer want McQueary to represent them. The NAAGP has fought to secure the rights and betterment of those discriminated against for their red hair, pale skin, and freckles. They feel their reputation is being tarnished with their association to McQueary.
“It’s bad enough Gingers are looked upon as the dregs of society,” said NAAGP CEO/President and comedian Carrot Top. “People already think we Gingers have no souls. We don’t need Mike McQueary to perpetuate that stereotype.”
“When people look at Gingers, they want to laugh with a Conan O’Brien or gawk at an Amy Adams and a Christina Hendricks. We don’t want them looking at Mike McQueary and thinking, ‘All Gingers are a-holes,’” said Mr. Top. “He’s the redheaded stepchild of all redheaded stepchildren.”
The NAAGP first got the idea upon hearing that the Big Ten Conference had decided to remove the name of former Penn State coach Joe Paterno from its inaugural Big Ten Championship trophy as fallout from the scandal.
“As the Big Ten is severing ties and distancing itself from Coach Paterno, we are trying to distance ourselves from Mike McQueary. It was the right thing to do,” said Mr. Top.
“This is the worst thing to happen to the Ginger community since Lindsay Lohan. She left a stain that we didn’t think could get any worse, until now. We are formally seeking an injunction to have Mike McQueary legally dye his hair black or get a tan or something.”