A few hours before kickoff of Sunday’s Lions-Cowboys game in Dallas, Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh reportedly ate a hearty breakfast of three eggs, a bagel, and an entire Cowboys offensive lineman.
“Very filling,” said Suh. “But I’ll be ready for game time. No doubt.”
Suh, known for terrorizing offensive linemen since he burst onto the NFL scene last season, has apparently been eating 1-2 opponents per week.
“The league first realized it last week when Chiefs offensive tackle Jared Gaither never showed up for Sunday’s game against the Lions,” said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. “Only later did we learn about the pre-game kidnapping and subsequent devouring as part of a giant omelet. Obviously Ndamukong is a bright star in this league, but eating opponents for breakfast has got to stop.”
The Cowboys are said to be anxiously awaiting game time to see which of their players has been consumed.