Exiting Yankee Stadium after Thursday’s loss to the Red Sox, Yankees fan Guido Scaramone was quick to blame Boston’s historic series sweep on his girlfriend’s refusal to wear a rally cap.
“It’s impossible,” Scaramone said. “There’s no way we would’ve lost if Sheila had worn her rally cap like I told her to.”
“Don’t be a moron, Guido.” Scaramone’s girlfriend, Sheila said. “I’m not about to wreck my brand new perm.”
“Who cares about your stupid perm!” Scaramone yelled as Sheila gently stroked the mound of streaked-blonde hair atop her head. “It’s the Red Sox!”
“The Red Sox were better,” Sheila said. “It was as simple as that. The better team won.”
“That’s it, Sheila,” Scaramone fired back. “We’re through! You and me are through!”
“Fine with me,” Sheila said. “Maybe I’ll start dating a Sox fan. They don’t need rally caps because they’re not a bunch of losers!”
With that, Sheila stormed off, leaving Scaramone to contemplate the end of his relationship.
“That’s not the person I fell in love with,” Scaramone said. “I can’t believe I even brought her to the game. It’s my fault. It’s all my fault.”
By Scott Keiner