After Texas Rangers beat writers from the Fort Worth Star Telegram and the Dallas Morning News suffered hysterical blindness after watching Monday’s preseason workout, publishers from both newspapers announced they would be combining their Rangers coverage to save on employee health insurance premiums.

Morning News publisher Jim Moroney said he and Gary Wortel, Fort Worth Star Telegram publisher, came to the conclusion this was going to have to be done after both newspapers’ beat writers had to be taken to hospitals after watching a sacrifice bunt drill.

“Our guy kept screaming, ‘You can’t score six runs on three sacrifice bunts with a runner on first,’ Moroney said. ‘Then he tried to tear out his own eyes.”

Wortel said it was bad enough the newspapers had lost two reporters to injury, “Could you imagine if we lost Randy Galloway or Jim Reeves and they lost Kevin Sherrington?,” Wortel said. “Those results could be catastrophic for all of our bottom lines.”

Texas Rangers officials declined to comment, although team president Nolan Ryan said the team was working on laying down sacrifice bunts.


heckler editorial staff