A study released yesterday revealed President Obama has made history by being the first White Sox fan to wear a suit and tie to work.
“I never thought I’d see the day,” said Sox fan Mickey Libson, wearing a sleeveless Hooters T-shirt. “When he stepped out to take the oath and he wasn’t wearing a clip-on, I got misty eyed.”
However, the transition wasn’t smooth. Many Obama staffers assumed the White House dress code would be “White Sox Casual” — which is appropriate for bowling or Monsters of Rock concerts.
“White Sox Casual involves trimming your goatee, donning a T-shirt without any offensive language and a healthy dose of Axe body spray,” said etiquette expert Jan Von Alder whose research revealed Obama’s sartorial feat.
“My wife is going to be angry,” said one staffer. “We spent a week cutting the sleeves off my suits. And I’m going to have to return all those jean shorts.”
White Sox Casual is a step up from typical Sox fan attire, but a step below “White Sox Formal,” which is reserved for weddings, auto shows and court appearances.
Not all Sox fans agreed with Obama foregoing traditional Sox attire.
“It’s a travesty,” Sox fan Jason Hornsby said in a rant. “Suits are for Mai Tai-drinking Cubs fans. The ladies love a man with his guns on display.”
Sox fan Derrick Lewis agreed.
“What was the point of beating the French in World War II if we have to dress like them?” asked Lewis. “I just hope Obama doesn’t go all soft and forget what it means to be a Sox fan. Next time there’s a big summit he should sneak up on the president of Europe and punch the guy in the face just to show the world who’s in charge.”
Obama referenced the historic nature of his election in his inaugural speech.
“Any Sox fans who still doubt that America is a place where all things are possible; those who wonder if the dreams of Bill Veeck to have a non-violent fan base are alive in our time; who still question whether you’re less of a man if you wear a suit to work, tonight is your answer.