NASCAR Sprint Cup drivers Juan Pablo Montoya and Clint Bowyer took the first spin on Texas Motor Speedway with the Car of Tomorrow earlier this month.

“The new car is a little tight, but I think it’s pretty exciting,” Montoya said, adding that he learned English by reading the letters in Penthouse Forum.

Montoya said he never expected to tear himself away from the world of Formula One and head to the United States to drive in the NASCAR circuit.

“I worked hard on my English,” Montoya said. “This never happened to me before, but the more I practiced, the more I started rising to the occasion, the more I just had to drive those stiff, succulent race cars until my team reaches its climax with a Sprint Championship.”

Montoya then excused himself to reporters, saying he had to smoke a cigarette.

“He definitely has a unique way of expressing himself,” a NASCAR crew chief said. “It’s a good thing he drives better than he talks.”

Montoya has brought a splash of class to what was a uniquely macho sport. For example Montoya’s car is also sponsored by Wrigley’s chewing gum instead of chewing tobacco.

In other news, NASCAR’s Car of Tomorrow is now NASCAR’s Car of Today, since it will be driven in every race in the series. NASCAR spokespersons said they didn’t know what to call the car, since it isn’t the Car of Tomorrow anymore. NASCAR chairman Brian France said he would figure out what to call the car, write the name down on a bar napkin and call reporters the next morning.