“It’s the logical next step, Economics 101,” owner Tom Ricketts declared while addressing reporters outside Wrigley’s Captain Morgan Club. “If our fans, the greatest fans in the world, want a beer with a slice of baseball then, by gosh, we’re going to give them a beer with a slice of baseball. For a nominal fee."
"We were unprepared for Sunday's game," Cubs owner Tom Ricketts told reporters. "And that's on us. We don't plan to be caught by surprise again. That's why, until construction is over, we have added portable toilets to the premises, and for the first time have made it acceptable for fans to urinate on the field, so long as it's really an emergency."
After Sunday night's restroom debacle at Wrigley we decided to dig up an old post that provided helpful tips to fans in need of a little relief. Enjoy!
"I've always said I'm a man of the people," said Kenney. "And to prove it, I'm going to allow fans the opportunity to use my 950 square foot executive restroom to do what I can to help with the major restroom issues we had last night."
"The team has spent considerable money on renovating the bleachers, and the engineers are concerned that the constant barrage of towering Kris Bryant home runs may damage the integrity of the stadium and severely hamper the construction process," said Epstein. "Obviously, safety is our top priority. So it is for that reason, and that reason alone, that we will wait to promote Kris to the big league club until the bleachers are deemed structurally sound."
"There are a lot of ups and downs in baseball," said Lester, who signed a six-year, $155 million free agent deal with the Cubs this winter. "Unfortunately sometimes that involves health issues, like this bloody stump where my pitching arm used to be."
“Since we haven’t won at home in quite a few years, we’ll try anything to win,” said Kenney. “That includes an attempt to freeze the Cardinals into losing.”