“With all the talks of billy goats, curses and infographics on how cheap gas was during the last Cubs’ title, we feel that we have been severely mistreated by ESPN and other large media outlets,” said owner Tom Ricketts.
The Cubs' long-standing association with WGN TV will most likely end after the 2014 season when the team's telecasts move to Fox Sports 1 for 1 very good reason: So no one will watch them lose their inevitable 98 games.
“Unfortunately WGN no longer is a superstation and can’t pay us top dollar to broadcast Cubs games,” said Cubs President of Baseball Operations Crane Kenney. “So we’re going to look into partnering with a bunch of stations scattered all over the TV dial, or maybe we’ll create the Cubs Cable Network, make it available in only a few hundred thousand homes and bury it in between Animal Planet 2 and C-SPAN Romania.”
"Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?" Kasper was heard howling as paramedics rushed him into the ER. "It can't be ... we haven't even finished our 'Tunes from the Booth' album yet."
Late Wednesday night, DirecTV announced their squabble with the Tribune Company had ended, subjecting millions of subscribers to the horror of WGN broadcasts of Cubs games this season. Backlash ensued as angry parents and concerned sports fans threatened to end their DirecTV subscriptions immediately.
During today's game between the Cubs and Braves at the Friendly Confines, the broadcast team captured something even more interesting than seagulls defecating on fans in the bleachers. Going into the seventh inning, cameras caught a fan actually following the action on the field.
“I knew I shouldn’t have turned the game on after eating that second slice of pizza,” said Lakeview resident Rob Roman. “I just thought with Marmol and a 2-run lead, I’d be safe. Instead, here I am, wiping pepperoni off the plasma screen again.”