Eyebrows were raised recently when it was reported earlier this week that 2012 Heisman Trophy winner Johnny Manziel was taking college classes online and was only on campus once a month. A spokesperson representing the Texas A&M freshman denied the report saying that Manziel is doing coursework, not online, but through mental telepathy.
“We found a retired professor who telepathically transmits classwork to Johnny,” the representative said. “Each morning, Johnny goes into a self-induced trance and takes in the course work.”
“In fact,” the spokesperson said, “Johnny isn’t even living in Texas. He left for Hawaii last January shortly after the Cotton Bowl game.”
The representative said that this semester, “Johnny’s studying arithmetic and Texas folklore and he’s taking a badminton course,” which the spokesman says often gives the Quarterback headaches due to violent back and forth motion.
The Aggies’ sensation isn’t taking school lightly. “Johnny’s working hard to earn his degree in just two years,” the spokesman said. “If the NFL isn’t in the cards for him, Johnny plans to pursue a career as a professional duck hunter.”