Sunday, June 26, 2022

Golden State coach says Festus Ezeli greatest center since Bill Russell

“Ezie’s potential to be an even better player than Russell is unbelievable. The kid didn’t even know what a basketball was until he was 15 years old and now he is on the verge of stardom,” Jackson said of the Nigerian-born pivot man.

Alex Smith spotted with Colin Kaepernick voodoo doll

“I was only trying to get my souvenir shopping done and out of the way early,” claims the former starting QB.

NHL rulebook update: beating Hawks, Sharks in regulation now worth three points

“Consider the superhuman effort it would take to actually overcome the inevitable six-goal barrage. Add to that the endless forechecking, skilled defense and two hot goalies,” said a breathless league executive. “We wanted to make such an amazing victory special. That is, if it ever actually happens.”

Super Bowl XVLII Bingo, presented by TheHeckler.com

Play along at home as the San Francisco 49ers and Baltimore Ravens clash to settle once and for all which Harbaugh brother gets the top bunk. Click the image to view a larger, printer-friendly version of the game board.

New Orleans prostitutes to charge extra for Kaepernicking

"With the popularity of Kaepernicking and the sheer volume of customers that come through here during game week, we could be looking at a few grand a night for simply kissing a guy's bicep tattoo. The price is actually triple if the tattoo is located anywhere besides the bicep."

Beyoncé studying old Milli Vanilli videos as prep for Super Bowl

"This will be better than Madonna, Ashlee Simpson and Milli Vanilli all rolled up into one," she said. "I've been studying 'Blame it on the Rain' for weeks and I think I can top it."

Badgers players confused by the number of times Alvarez’s Rose Bowl game plan calls...

"I'm sure Barry was a great coach back in the Stone Ages or whenever, but we're all a little concerned he's not with it anymore," said RB James White. "In practice all he keeps saying is how we've got to pound the ball up the middle 35 times a game with Ron Dayne, whoever that is."