Perhaps the only thing significant about this year’s Rose Bowl is the one-game return of Barry Alvarez to the Badgers sideline, where he’s filling in as head coach in the absence of Bret Bielema who left earlier this month for the head-coaching job at Arkansas. The nostalgia of Alvarez’s big comeback is lost on most Badgers players, however.

“I’m sure Barry was a great coach back in the Stone Ages or whenever, but we’re all a little concerned he’s not with it anymore,” said RB James White. “In practice all he keeps saying is how we’ve got to pound the ball up the middle 35 times a game with Ron Dayne, whoever that is.”

White’s teammate Montee Ball said he was also unsure who Dayne was and why Alvarez was so often designing plays for him.

“I finally found out Ron Dayne was the old chubby guy who hangs out on our sidelines once in a while,” said Ball. “I guess he won the Heisman even though he didn’t score nearly as many career TDs as I have. Maybe by New Year’s Day Barry will figure out which century it is and start calling my number a little more often.”