Dodgers

The red-hot Dodgers and their fans are reeling today after news broke that slugger Manny Ramirez will be handed a 50-game suspension for testing positive for what insiders are calling "Crazy Juice."

“I have accomplished all I want to in this game, from winning World Series to hair growth to getting suspended for steroids,” said the slugger as he climbed on the actual Devil Ray in the Tropicana Field tank for a quick ride. “Weeeeee, riding this fish is fun!"

To many observers, Manny Ramirez is a clubhouse cancer and an aging slugger on the downside of his career. To the LA Dodgers, he remains one of baseball's best hitters and provides a much-needed edge in the NL. The Dodgers reportedly are nearing a two-year, $45 million contract extension, and Ramirez is certain of two things: 1. He's going to continue acting like a loon and 2. He's going to hit at least .500 again against the Cubs.

Even though he’s in jail awaiting trial on drug and grand theft auto charges, things are looking up for baseball-player-turned-financial-consultant Lenny Dykstra. The former outfielder recently announced he landed a big client: Dodgers owner Frank McCourt, whose team is currently in MLB conservatorship.

The Mets have acquired Matt Kemp and Clayton Kershaw, but not in the conventional way. Starting in the 2012 season, the Mets and Dodgers will be combined to form one “Super Team.”

Magic Johnson has wasted little time in trying to turn around his recently acquired L.A Dodgers. He is attempting to lure his former Lakers head coach Pat Riley as general manager. Johnson seeks out Riley not for his baseball prowess or lack thereof, but rather his ability to bring a certain culture and swag to the teams he runs.

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