Tuesday, June 18, 2024

Ryan Braun’s failed drug test caused by ink from his awful shirts

"Unfortunately, the ink in my Remetee shirts has proved to be laced with HGH and other performance-enhancing drugs," said Braun. "We were only going for fashion-enhancing chemicals, but I guess the science guys mixed up the formula or whatever ... then it seeped into my skin ... and, uh ... I gotta go!"

Ryan Braun busted for PEDs: Let’s hear your headline ideas

Anyone with an internet or cable connection knows by now that Brewers MVP outfielder/restauranteur/douchey T-shirt salesman Ryan Braun reportedly failed a drug test this fall. It's huge news and we're giving you a chance to give us your take on what the headline should be. Simply write it in the comments box below this post or email it to theheckler@theheckler.com. The best headlines might wind up as a Heckler article and we'll give you full credit so fire away.

Sveum leaves trail of pizza bites from Fielder’s locker to Wrigley

With the announcement that Dale Sveum will become the new Cubs manager, many fans were left wondering exactly what it is the former Brewers hitting coach has that caught the eye of Theo Epstein and Jed Hoyer. At today's press conference, the only conditions of Sveum's hiring were revealed.

Guy who wasn’t good enough to manage Brewers apparently good enough to manage Cubs

Dale Sveum managed the Brewers for the final 12 games of 2008 and helped them secure their first playoff berth since 1982, but that wasn’t good enough for Milwaukee, who refused to bring Sveum back as skipper for 2009. Now word is that the Cubs have made an offer to Sveum for their managerial vacancy.

Embarrassed Brewers admit Craig Counsell made playoff roster due to clerical error

The Milwaukee Brewers issued a statement following their 8-1 NLDS Game 3 loss to Arizona that attributed the presence of Craig Counsell on the team's playoff roster to an unfortunate clerical error.

Wisconsin women’s shelters ‘virtually empty’ after state’s banner sports weekend

Government officials in Wisconsin Monday morning proudly announced their women's shelters were "virtually empty" after the state experienced perhaps its best sports weekend of all time.

Slideshow: 5 things that happened in the sports world while you ate lunch

From Prince Fielder eating two meals to the Red Sox losing yet another game, a lot has happened since you took your lunch break. Stay up to date with The Heckler.