Chicago

"This is a no-nonsense league," said Goodell who fined each of the league's nearly 1,700 players roughly $588,000 a piece. "And we can't have our players taking their commitment to training camp lightly so we have to punish them where it hurts."

“For the safety of our residents, we have closed all Chicago bars and alcohol-serving restaurants in the anticipation of Miguel Cabrera in town,” said Emanuel. "This city is in enough trouble as it is. We can't risk the sort of physical damage an intoxicated Cabrera could do after another late-night bender."

Earlier this week, it was reported the Mets were looking to trade off their entire roster, but with the team now thrust into a playoff race, those plans have been tossed out of the window.

When the 26-foot tall statue of screen legend Marilyn Monroe was unveiled on Michigan Avenue earlier this month, many around town were questioning her relevance to Chicago and appropriateness of her easy-to-view underwear. However, none of this criticism mattered to Blackhawks winger/babe-hound Patrick Kane who was spotted canoodling with the statue while drunk late Monday night after watching the White Sox-Tigers game at U.S. Cellular Field.

"I used to think Kristin was just your average extremely spoiled West Coast rich girl who never worked a day in her life, but now I know she's just as bad as people like Lauren Conrad, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. Truly awful."

From a washed-out Len Kasper to a blurry Tony Campana, The Heckler presents the most egregious Cubs and Sox error cards.

After he arrived home for a visit during the Minor League All-Star break, Tyler Colvin’s family noticed a significant change in the embattled Cubs prospect -- his height.