Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel said earlier this week at a press conference that he was taking the drastic measure of closing all local bars and restaurants for the three days the Tigers are in town, fearing reckless behavior from Detroit first baseman Miguel Cabrera.

“For the safety of our residents, we have closed all Chicago bars and alcohol-serving restaurants in the anticipation of Miguel Cabrera in town,” said Emanuel. “This city is in enough trouble as it is. We can’t risk the sort of physical damage an intoxicated Cabrera could do after another late-night bender.”

Cabrera has had a few alcohol-related incidents in the past, most recently this spring training where he harassed police officers after being found in his broken down car on the side of the road, drinking a bottle of scotch. In 2009, police were called to his house, where after a night of drinking he got into a domestic dispute with his wife.

“We just had an incident last weekend at North Avenue Beach in which thousands of people were at risk, I want to make sure the same thing will be prevented this weekend,” said Emanuel. “We’re looking out for the men and women of Chicago both on and off the road.”

When asked if the preventions he’s taking might be too drastic, the Mayor said, “I’m just looking out for the people who live in this great city, I want to.….ahhhhh screw it I’m a Cubs fan! I hope he kills the White Sox!” He then added, “If Miguel comes up in the top of the ninth and the bases are loaded, I just sure hope he isn’t!”

Brian Farrell