Here are five reasons to be excited for the remainder of the season and five reasons to load up on the Malort.
Congratulations are in order for retired White Sox announcer Ken "Hawk" Harrelson who was today named the 2020 Ford C. Frick Award winner, meaning he'll have his place in Cooperstown.
After a deep review of the project's finances, officials have concluded the entire overage can be attributed to one worker in the city's Department of Streets and Sanitation.
"We've got a lot of work to do and moving Todd is our top priority," said President of Baseball Operations Theo Epstein. "Unfortunately no one is interested in the guy."
Some would call the Hot Stove League -- baseball’s offseason carnival of trades, free agent signings and fans of all teams hating Scott Boras -- the second-best season in sports after baseball’s regular season. The 2019-2020 edition promises not to disappoint.
"I'm a funny guy but what that guy said about my injury wasn't funny," said Hicks. "I just can't wait to show the world just how funny I am."
The Heckler has obtained a secret internal document from Halas Hall not only confirming the injury report was false but also a list of dozens of other injuries/maladies the Bears plan to use in future games where Trubisky struggles.