Chicago

"You may wonder how a physical beast like me can improve my vertical," said a gloating Boozer after a recent practice at the Berto Center.

“This is typical selfish Cutler,” said NFL Network analyst Deion Sanders. “Didn’t he see how well McCown played? What is he thinking trying to play through pain and get on the field for this potentially season-changing Lions game?”

“I like to use different colored markers to represent forwards, center and the defensemen,” said Quenneville. “I usually have a few of each color stashed here and there: in my suit coats, at the desk, in the sock drawer at home. But I can stop anytime. I only do it, you know, before games. Sometimes after.”

"McCown was awesome," Greenblatt gushed. "I mean, Forte was also awesome, and so was that offensive line, but McCown, man, he was something else. Our backup guy was so much better than the Packers backup guy."

Play along as Mike Tirico gets easily excited and Josh McCown gets confused with Cade McNown: It's time for Bears-Packers MNF Bingo.

Tom Ricketts announced today that the Cubs will cancel their participation trophies next year. Similar to those given to Little Leaguers, the trophies emphasize “playing, participating in the game, and having fun” rather than winning.

"The NHL says we have to have to announce Khabibulin as our starting goalie, but we will have a cardboard cutout of him in net," said coach Joel Quenneville. "Then when the game starts, the extra skater will pick up the cutout and throw it in our bench."