Cubs shopping online for middle relief help
“We have three or four left-handers and a dozen right-handers in our shopping cart right now, but we’re not quite ready to check out," said Hoyer. "And, of course, we must consider if players will come with free shipping.”
Howie Long admits Kyle has always been his favorite son
"I hope Kyle kicks Chris's butt," said Howie. "I've always liked Kyle more. He's just like me, only without the crappy movies like the ones I did. Chris is more like that comedian on Fox's pregame show ... lame and no talent."
Geico un-sponsors Blackhawks defense
“We stand for low, low rates on car insurance,” said company representative Ray Reed. “But one thing you can’t skimp on is clearing skaters out of the crease. It doesn’t take a caveman to know that. Remember them? The Geico cavemen? They briefly had a sitcom. Wow.”
Cutler catches giggly McCown and Trestman studying game film together
"I'm beginning to think Trent Dilfer and Alex Brown were right ... Trest and Josh are totally being weird," said Cutler. "Just the other day I was driving past Outback and I swear I saw them sharing one of those blooming onion things. I introduced them to that appetizer!"
Play Bears Bingo — Week 11, 2013 (Ravens)
Play along as the Bears take on the Ravens in the first of what will be seven straight "must-win" games to finish the year.
Wrigley naming rights sold, park will be known as Appetite Control Energy Field
"For the Cubs, this makes all the sense in the world. We are getting out of our piss poor deal with WGN TV and could really use any means of revenue," Kenney said.
Hawks re-acquire Kris Versteeg exclusively to rap new goal song
“We’ve been draining every ounce of energy from this song for several years,” said Bowman. “Honestly, at this point it’s become way too humble. Seriously. We’ve got rings, plural. Girls. Whirlpools. The guys are popping out babies left and right. It’s time to rap about it.”
