Cubs Convention apparently happening this weekend
Baseball fans with absolutely nothing better to do this weekend are encouraged to head on down to the 2014 Cubs Convention, which is apparently starts Friday.
MLB finally realizes dream of 10-hour games with new instant replay rules
"Each manager will be given two challenges per game," said commissioner Bud Selig. "Fans will be given pillows and a change of clothes, while TV networks will be required to block out 14 hours in the event both teams challenge their maximum of two plays."
Cubs quietly waive Castro, Samardzija, and Rizzo amid ferver surrounding new mascot
"First of all, I hate to see us breaking with tradition to bring a mascot in," said Chicago fan Tom Simmons, who owns and often proudly wears a Castro jersey. "And on top of that, Clark is just so creepy looking, I think it really was a poor choice."
Cubs mascot launch an unparallelled success at taking attention away from another failed offseason
"We were confident in our strategy," Rickets said, "but our initial experience proves that Clark is the single greatest revelation since Moneyball."
Cubs fans already clamoring for less talented, but hard-nosed mascot understudy Vinny to replace...
Soon after the Cubs announced the creation of a new mascot named Clark, fans of the team were begging the organization to replace him with the mascots understudy, Vinny.
Alex Rodriguez to spend 2014 season dressed as Clark the Cub
"It keeps me in the game and I can keep my steroids inside my costume," said Rodriguez. "I mean, the little kids will be happy."
Cubs’ new mascot sure to be offseason’s biggest move
"What, you think we're going to get Tanaka or something?" said team president Theo Epstein. "Nope. Just this ridiculous mascot."
Idea suggested on Facebook by Julia Mareske
