Ending a century-long struggle to slow the game down enough to ensure contests will consistently top the 10-hour mark, Major League Baseball announced expanded instant replay rules for the 2014 season.
“Each manager will be given two challenges per game,” said commissioner Bud Selig. “Fans will be given pillows and a change of clothes, while TV networks will be required to block out 14 hours in the event both teams challenge their maximum of two plays.”
According to league sources, umpires will be required to rule on challenges within two hours.
“Officially, it will be two minutes, but we’ll give them a cushion of one hour and 58 minutes to make sure they get the call right,” said a spokesman for the umps. “It will be just like football, only less annoying because we won’t break to commercial. We’ll just keep showing the play over and over in slow-motion while the announcers incorrectly guess the outcome.”