Report: 67% of Cubs runs are replays
“I saw Starlin Castro knock in a pair with a hit to center field in the eighth inning,” said Chuck Mortillo of Evanston. “I jumped for joy. Turns out it was a replay of Castro’s fourth inning hit. I guess it’s on me for not paying close enough attention.”
Wood shocks Chicago by claiming return only possible with Cardinals
"To be quite honest I'm done playing," Wood said. "On the off chance that maybe a year from now I change my mind I can see myself pitching for St. Louis. That's it. They've always done a great job resurrecting careers."
Justin Bieber to star as Theo Epstein in ‘Moneyball’ sequel
Full cast and crew have yet to be announced, but a few names have been confirmed. Justin Bieber will star as the loveable, boyish, youthful team president, Theo Epstein. Jim Belushi will also star as an unemployed, down and out comic actor turned bleacher bum.
Kerry Wood: ‘I’ll retire immediately after I punch Dusty Baker in the face’
"I spoke to Mark [Prior] and we both agree Dusty needs a few to the face," said Wood "It's what every fan of the Cubs dreams of."
Cubs fire longtime Tossing-Ball-to-First-Base Coach
A bit of house cleaning has begun in the wake of season-long struggles by Cub pitchers, Starlin Castro and a few other fielders to get the ball cleanly to first base. As of today, the organization has let go of long-time Tossing-Ball-to-First-Base Coach Bobby Bumpkin.
BP Crosstown Cup found in Wrigley Field urinal after day out in the bleachers
The BP Crosstown Cup went missing this weekend, and foul play was suspected. Throughout the Cubs-Sox series, the Cup was occasionally seen on television being defaced, used as a giant beer mug, and brandished as a blunt weapon by drunken fans.
Loco Rob Column: Time for me to go
Like Kerry Wood, I started out my career going the distance, writing columns as long as 500 words, and once wrote a 1,400 word column while I was drunk. The Heckler went ahead and published that entire column.
