The Cubs have maintained a trend over the last several years of failing to capitalize on scoring opportunities.

“I was folding laundry Saturday night when [Bryan] LaHair homered against the Cardinals,” Buster Brannigan of Skokie said. “I pumped my fist in the air but then remembered the Cubs weren’t playing the Cardinals.”

On the heels of misunderstandings such as this comes a report asserting that 2/3 of all Cubs runs are replays the team has tried to pass off as if they were occurring in real time. The replays under fire feature live-sounding crowd reactions. On the radio side, Keith Moreland was cited on one occasion for saying “Giddyap!” when Alfonso Soriano grounded into a double play.

“I saw Starlin Castro knock in a pair with a hit to center field in the eighth inning,” said Chuck Mortillo of Evanston. “I jumped for joy. Turns out it was a replay of Castro’s fourth inning hit. I guess it’s on me for not paying close enough attention.”

Lakeview resident Pat Hanover recently found himself similarly confused.

“I’ve seen the Joe Mather walk-off single from April 23rd three times only to find that Mather never batted and the Cubs lost,” said Hanover. “On Sunday, Carlos Pena homered off Jake Peavy while I was busy peeling potatoes in my kitchen. But of course Pena isn’t a Cub, and that home run he hit off Peavy was from last June.”

No one affiliated with the broadcasting industry wished to comment or return any phone calls regarding the matter. Thom Brennaman, known for despising Cubs fans, worked Saturday night’s Cubs-White Sox game for Fox Sports Net and smirked when questioned.

By Rob C. Christiansen