Thursday, February 29, 2024

0-1 Browns celebrate holding first place this late into a season for first time...

"This is amazing!" said Stan Grokowski, wearing a No. 19 Bernie Kosar jersey while walking along the Browns parade route on Euclid Ave. "Sure, we're winless, but we're still in first place. Do you have any idea how great that feels?"

QB Jason Campbell exiled to Cleveland

“I know I’ve pretty much outlived my usefulness in pro football,” the 31-year-old signal caller said. “But being exiled to a team that’s averaged four wins each year since 1999, no joke, I could last another 5-6 years in this league."

Cubs sign Travis Hafner to 10-year, $125 million contract

The Cubs surprised the sports world today, signing 35-year-old DH Travis Hafner to a 10-year, $125 million contract. The oft-injured former Cleveland Indian hasn't played more than 150 games in a season since 2007, but team president Theo Epstein said he finally couldn't resist the urge to frivolously spend his club's money on an aging veteran who does nothing to improve the team.

From the Lastros to the Cleveland Frowns, The World’s Most Honest Sports Team Logos

Team names are fun, but they don't always accurately reflect a franchise's players and fans. Here at The Heckler, we've created a few alternate names and logos that are more descriptive of the teams they represent.

LeBron to announce Disney World vs. Disneyland celebration on ESPN national broadcast, ‘The Disnision’

“I was so tempted to scream out, ‘I’m going to Disney World!’ last night after the win,” said an elated James. "But then I started thinking that Anaheim may be better than Orlando. Plus, I’m already in Florida, so a little out of state time would be great.”

Browns trade next 4 first-round picks and Lake Erie to Rams in exchange for...

In an unprecedented trade, the hapless Cleveland Browns have swapped four first-round draft picks and “a body of water to be named later” in exchange for the second pick in this year’s NFL draft—currently...

Washington Generals offended Dan Gilbert compared them to 25 NBA teams

"I know we have the reputation of being a loser, but have you looked at Cleveland's roster?" said Generals coach and owner Red Klotz. "They won 19 games last year. And don't get me started on teams like the T'Wolves, Bucks, Pacers, Raptors, Warriors, Kings, Bobcats and Wizards. Our ball boys could give some of these shitty teams a run for their money."