Saturday, May 21, 2022

Cubs rookie impressive in debut; immediately demands trade after miserable loss

Baby-faced outfielder Tony Campana scored a go-ahead run and later doubled in his first big-league at-bat Tuesday night to drive in what should have been an insurance run against the Reds. Instead, the Cubs blew the lead and the game in spectacular fashion, prompting the rookie to immediately demand a trade.

Marty Brennaman calls sixth consecutive adversary ‘The most disliked team in baseball’

Marty Brennaman has been making other bold statements on behalf of the general public, saying such things as “People hate corn. Corn is the most hated vegetable,” and “Jim and Pam, Ross and Rachel, people have rooted against couples like this for ages.”

Jacque Jones, Daryle Ward sign on to play Dustyball in Cincy

Dusty Baker is at it once again. The former Cubs manager is not sending Mark Prior out to the mound for yet another inning, late in the game with his team up 10, and he's not scolding the fans for their incessant booing of LaTroy Hawkins. He is, however, signing some of his favorite 30-somethings to contracts -- like former Cubs Daryle Ward and Jacque Jones -- who inked minor league deals with Baker's Reds Thursday to serve as Baker's '09 versions of Lenny Harris and Freddie Bynum.

Fantasy Report: How should Cedric Benson’s habit of getting drunk and punching people impact...

"I would proceed with caution both when approaching a most likely intoxicated Benson in an Austin bar and when considering drafting him for my fantasy league," said Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football Reporter Cody Findlay. "He's a bit of a wild card, both drunk and sober."

Fantasy Report: How does Jerome Simpson’s massive marijuana shipment impact your fantasy league?

"Simpson's career might be up in smoke and I just wish he would have thought of all his fantasy owners before making such a stupid decision," wrote Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football Reporter Cody Findlay.

Palmer’s reemergence in NFL causes fantasy woes

Following Palmer's trade to the Raiders, fantasy owners everywhere scurried to either add him to an already mediocre stable of quarterbacks or to persuade league competitors that Palmer is a much more lucrative pickup than a middling running back, up and coming wide receiver, or second kicker.

Suge Knight hires Xavier hoops team as bodyguards

“When I heard Tu Holloway talk after that game, I knew these were my guys,” said Knight when interviewed by reporters. “When I heard him talk about how they’re a bunch of ‘gangstas’ and how they liked to zip people up, I knew they were going to become my next Ice Unit.”