Baby-faced outfielder Tony Campana scored a go-ahead run and later doubled in his first big-league at-bat Tuesday night to drive in what should have been an insurance run against the Reds. Instead, the Cubs blew the lead and the game in spectacular fashion, prompting the rookie to immediately demand a trade.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m happy to be here and all that crap,” said Campana, after the Cubs got swept in a two-game series in Cincinnati, despite having late leads in both games. “But I need to be on a team that’s not been cursed by more than a century of ineptitude as we all witnessed tonight.”

Campana’s RBI put the Cubs up 5-3 in the top of the eighth but in the bottom of the inning they gave up four ugly runs to lose the game 7-5. Every run the Cubs surrendered in the defeat was unearned.

Clutching the ball from his hit sealed in a Zip-Lock baggy with “Ball from first (and hopefully last) Cubs at-bat” written on it, Campana said after the game that with a batting average of 1.000 his stock will perhaps never be higher so the time to demand out is now.

“I’m thankful the Cubs gave me my big break,” said Campana. “Now get me the hell out of here.”