LeBron James took over down the stretch Wednesday night as the Heat won Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Finals 85-75 over Chicago, making life once again dangerously close to being devoid of any meaning whatsoever.

“After the Bulls’ big win Sunday, life was finally worth living for the first time in what feels like forever,” said 39-year-old Chicagoan Christian Santos. “But watching LeBron hit big shot after big shot tonight has me feeling pretty low all over again.”

Santos said the prospect of Chicago going up 2-0 in the series brought him excitement for even the most mundane tasks.

“In a moment of Bulls-fueled weakness earlier this week I promised my wife I’d go to the mall with her Saturday,” said Santos. “But now I just feel like drinking beer on the couch all weekend like normal and waiting for Game 3 Sunday night.”