Cincinnati Reds broadcaster Marty Brennaman railed against a few unruly Cub fans in 2008, asserting that the majority of people involved with baseball “want to see the Cubs lose.” He then opened 2011 with a bang by claiming the St. Louis Cardinals “might be the most disliked team in baseball.”
But as the weeks roll by, Brennaman might be making himself out to be less a voice of the people and more a cantankerous homer who happens to still have a microphone. Speaking as if he is revealing inside-baseball secrets, Brennaman has lately been channeling this fictitious bile of the general public towards every single team the Cincinnati Reds face, claiming they are all universally hated.
“He said the Pirates have no fans, which might be kinda true. But then he claimed that the Phillies have been known to cause ‘spontaneous physical illness,’ and I just can’t see how that’s possible,” said Reds fan Sarah Chu. “But how do you prove him wrong? Everywhere you go somebody hates somebody.”
Marty Brennaman has been making other bold statements on behalf of the general public, saying such things as “People hate corn. Corn is the most hated vegetable,” and “Jim and Pam, Ross and Rachel, people have rooted against couples like this for ages.”
“Right or wrong, it raises ratings,” said Reds executive Strom Thatherton. “We’ll keep Marty in there until he crosses the ‘Commie’ line.”
By Dan Bradley