Mets

"We had hoped they'd be able to jump start Jason and David, but Con Edison told us they can only do so much," said Mets GM Sandy Alderson. "I suppose we should be happy we have electricity at our stadium, but I was really hoping to find a way we could get a little more pop out of these guys."

The New York Mets will wear a blue alternate uniform in 2012, ditching the black jerseys along with the embarrassing word "Mets."

“Mr. Einhorn wanted the option to eventually buy the entire team,” said a lawyer close to the proceedings. “It’s like buying the back seat of a car and never being able to drive it. Where’s the gain in that?”

“Every night, I see hundreds of ‘Resign Jose Reyes’ signs, ‘Please Resign Jose,'” said a distraught Reyes. “I play this game with pride, and if the fans don’t want me, I don’t want to stay here and make them angry.”

After working a recent Mets game in ESPN booth earlier this month Bobby Valentine snuck his way into New York's clubhouse where he managed to work for three games until his ruse was discovered. He disguised himself as Ryota Igarashi’s translator, and due to his perfect grasp of the Japanese language, almost got away with it.

Add Lucas Duda, Angel Pagan and Domenik Hixon to the ever-growing list of injured Mets and Giants players, as the two New York teams battle it out for the title of the city’s most disabled franchise.

Mike Piazza was curiously on hand with the Marlins when they closed out their season last week despite playing only five games with the franchise back in 1998. Piazza later confirmed his reason for visiting Sun Life Stadium was to announce that should he be elected to the Hall of Fame when eligible in 2012, he will enter as a Marlin.