Thursday, March 28, 2024

Patriots debunk Bill Nye The Science Guy’s theory by stuffing him in locker

After the New England Patriots declared they didn't alter their footballs in any manner and attributed the fluctuations in pressure to cold temperatures, skeptics pounced. One such individual was Bill Nye, noted thermal engineering expert and all-around creepy genius, who claimed that the explanation given by the Patriots was an absolute scientific impossibility.

Air transferred out of footballs used to further inflate Belichick’s ego

"You may be wondering if we purposefully deflated our balls and the answer is 'Yes'," admitted a smug and unapologetic Belichick. "Sure, we had home field advantage and a better all-around team, but is that ever enough to stick it to your opponent?"

Killer Klowns from Outer Space win World Series

The Killer Klowns are strangely bearded space aliens who look like circus clowns. However, they take the form of professional baseball players and are known for terrorizing Major League Baseball.

Red Sox Nation celebrates title with promise not to talk about beards until NHL...

After a 6-1 game 6 victory over the St. Louis Cardinals gave them their third World Series title since 2004, fans of the Boston Red Sox have promised a grateful nation that they will stop talking about beards until NHL Playoffs begin.

MLB suspends Dempster five games for hitting A-Rod just once

Highly criticized by fans and local media, at least one teammate said Dempster “didn’t have the guts to plunk the S.O.B. the second time he came to the plate. “

NHL changes Game 3 puck drop to 8 a.m. in hopes matchup will end...

"I was still drunk four hours after I got to work on Thursday," said Hawks fan Tom Benson, referring to the day after the three-overtime Game 1 that lasted well into the wee hours of the morning. "Plus now I can check out the first period before work on Monday, then see the game-winning goal when I get home."

‘Good effort, good job’ kid already most hated child in America

As the few diehards left the American Airlines Arena after their team’s game 5 loss to the Celtics, one encouraging young fan shouted the words that may forever go down in infamy: “Good effort. Good job.”