Expressing genuine remorse and showing true contrition, Bo Pelini apologized to Nebraska fans for an audio recording from 2011 in which he referred to members of Cornhusker Nation as being “[bleeping] fair-weather fans.”
The often-criticized Pelini was upset that fans left at halftime of a game in which his team overcame a three-touchdown deficit to beat Ohio State.
An apologetic Pelini spoke to the Nebraska fans Thursday.
“I want to tell all you hayseeds, rubes and country bumpkins from the bottom of my heart how sorry I am for casting a pall upon your miserable moonshine drinking, roto-tilling, cow-tipping lives,” said Pelini. “Nebraska has truly great fans even if they all are a bunch of clod-hopping yokels who wouldn’t know what running water and electricity were if it bit them in the onion patch.”
When asked to explain his meltdown, Pelini explained that he was upset fans weren’t staying for the whole game to support the players who worked so hard to bring greatness to the football program.
A clearly exasperated Pelini stated, “Look , why would you backwoods rustic rubes leave a game early anyway. It’s not like you’ve got an early morning call time to start filming ‘Deliverance 2, Oblivion in Omaha,’ and certainly your rotgut bootleg bathtub gin isn’t going to go bad.”
When pressed further about comments that he wanted to leave Nebraska for another coaching job, Pelini clarified the situation by stating that “I’m perfectly happy in Lincoln unless of course the next turnip truck could get him out of here before an armed posse of toothless vigilantes chased after him with torches attached to their prairie wagons, you witless country cousins.”