Under increasing pressure after the release of the Freeh Report to remove a prominent statue celebrating the storied career of coach Joe Paterno, Penn State officials have made a change to the statue’s boilerplate.

His famous quote “success with honor” will now read “snitches get stitches for being punk-ass bitches.”  The statue will also be outfitted with an over sized T-shirt featuring a large red “danger” sign surrounded by cartoon rats wearing sunglasses, backward hats and a word bubble that reads “Snitch at your own risk.”

Mark Pants