Anthony Rizzo was loaded into a Papal-style vehicle the Cubs are calling the “Rizzomobile” this afternoon for the highly touted prospect’s ride to his first game at Wrigley Field. Anxious fans lined the streets of Wrigleyville, hoping to catch a glimpse of the team’s latest savior before his Cubs’ debut against the Mets tonight.

The Cubs said they needed to transport Rizzo in the Rizzomobile because they wanted everyone in Wrigleyville to get a chance to see the star prospect, but not necessarily interact with him personally.

“Fans here have a way of putting every promising rookie on a pedestal, and in time that early praise and adoration tends to somehow negatively impact the player’s performance and mindset over time,” said Theo Epstein. “I kind of wish I could get to and from the stadium in a Theomobile because some of these crazy fans are driving me nuts.”

Some fans who came to witness Rizzo’s first commute to Wrigley confirmed Epstein’s insight into the insanity of the team’s fanbase.

“I just want to see his face,” said one hysterical fan who asked to remain nameless. “Maybe I can get close enough I can give him a high-five or even kiss the finger where he’ll someday wear one of his seven Cubs World Series rings.”

Image by Kurt Evans
hecklerstaff