Anthony Rizzo didn’t hit a homer in his first game at Wrigley for the Cubs, but he did crush one out of the park while celebrating his successful Cubs debut Tuesday night, eventually scoring with an attractive young Wrigleyville waitress at the end of the evening.

“Oh man, this place is great,” said Rizzo after finding himself in the middle of a nonstop Wrigleyville party following Tuesday’s 5-3 win over the Mets. “And they say it’s like this every night in this neighborhood? I can’t wait to party my ass off after every game.”

Not surprisingly, Rizzo had scores of women fawning over him throughout the night, but eventually settled for Katie, a 24-year-old Sluggers waitress originally from Ohio.

“It was tough deciding exactly which girl to take home with me, but Katie seemed like the safe pick,” said Rizzo. “As for Steph, Renee, Angie and all the others. Don’t worry ladies, I’ll be back for you someday soon.”

hecklerstaff