Just a few days after undergoing successful surgery to repair his torn ACL, Bulls superstar Derrick Rose showed up at the United Center Monday morning, unaware the team was eliminated from the playoffs last week but completely healed and ready to take on their next opponent.

“Hey guys, what did I miss?” Rose asked a sparse crowd of off-season United Center security staffers while vigorously jogging in place and occasionally breaking into jumping jacks. “Where is everyone? I can’t believe no one else is here before our big game against Boston tonight.”

Doctors said they were astonished at Rose’s ability to heal from the injury in about 48 hours, but said the procedure somehow wiped from him the memory of watching the Bulls flounder after his late-game injury against the 76ers April 28.

“Mr. Rose is a very unique physical specimen and we’re encouraged by his miraculous recovery,” said Dr. James Stanton of Northwestern Memorial Hospital. “We are concerned however that reminding him that the Bulls went down in flames after his injury could force his recovery from the knee injury into a regression, so we’re probably just going to let him keep going with the delusion that he needs to prepare for a series against Rajon Rondo and the Celtics.”

hecklerstaff