Earlier this week, the people of North Carolina passed Amendment 1, which many believed was just a ban on gay marriage. But it has now been revealed that this amendment could also undercut child custody arrangements, jeopardize hospital visiting rights, and most surprisingly – it bans marriage between graduates of Duke University and the University of North Carolina.

State coaching legends Dean Smith and Mike Krzyzewski, who fought for 17 years on the court, are fighting on opposite sides of this battle as well.

“Black and White, Cats and Dogs, Men and Men … let them get married,” said Smith, “but I am in total agreement that Tar Heels and Blue Devils should not be wed. It’s just … unnatural.”

“For years, my basketball philosophy has been keep it low scoring, always be on the defensive, and a Boozer will disappoint when needed most,” Said Coack K, “The same philosophies can be used in marriage, no matter who’s on the other side.”

While North Carolina Gov. Beverly Perdue appreciates the advice from the living legends, she says the biggest reason this amendment was passes was due to the bicker of the two school boards.

“The amendment formally defines marriage as being between a man and a woman,” said Perdue. “And the men who run Duke and the men who run the University of North Carolina can’t agree on who would be the woman in the relationship.”

Chicago Vince