Batting just .226 with 0 home runs, Albert Pujols has struggled to live up to his massive contract so far with the Anaheim Angels. Some have speculated that Pujols is struggling to adapt to a new ballpark and a team, as well as feeling the pressure of justifying a $240-million contract. But the answer may be a simple clerical error from BALCO Industries: the company is still sending Pujols’s regular HGH shipments to Busch Stadium in St. Louis.
“When a client changes jobs it is customary to let us know,” said a BALCO spokesman. “We have been sending Pujols’s HGH supplies to St. Louis on schedule for the past 10 years, and Albert didn’t fill out the ‘new employer’ form. It looks like he is off the juice; no wonder he sucks.”
Fourteen boxes of HGH shipments have been sent to Busch Stadium addressed to Pujols since the first baseman signed with the Angels in December. Instead of forwarding them along to their ex-player, the Cardinals have either tossed the shipments into a storage room or dispersed the contents amongst the current team.
“I would appreciate a little professional courtesy,” said Pujols. “I played in that armpit of a town for 10 years; the least the Cardinals can do is forward my mail. I also haven’t received any of my magazine subscriptions and I think my new AARP card may be sitting in the Busch Stadium mailroom, too.”
Photoshop by Joel Nielsen