Albert Pujols signed a 10-year, $240 million contract with the Los Angeles Angels over the winter, but his slow start is making Halo fans wonder if Sir Albert is past his prime. After 21 games, Pujols is only batting .226 and has yet to hit a home run.

Pujols, however, thinks the reason for his slow start is obvious.

“I mean, what did they expect?” the slugger asked. “Look who I’ve been playing against for the last 11 years. Houston? Pittsburgh? The Pirates haven’t had a winning season since Barry Bonds was thin.”

“But mostly, it’s the Cubs,” Pujols said. “I used to kill them. But now that I’m in the American League, it’s different. They’ve got real pitchers in this league, not the Triple A rejects they have on the Cubs. Playing against them I forgot how to hit real pitching.”

“Look, Stan Musial was great,” Pujols continued. “Everybody knows how much I respect ‘The Man.’ But he got to play against the Cubs 22 times a year. Do you realize what kind of numbers I would have had if I’d been able to hit against Cubs pitchers 22 times a year? I would have gotten a $300 million contract.”

The slugger shook his head. “I need to get going. I’ve got to take more BP if I’m going hit Major League pitching.”

Pat Allen