Monta Ellis was named in a sexual harassment suit Wednesday, forcing the Warriors guard to play defense for the first time in his career. Ellis said he was concerned that not being able to take control offensively would be a new, uneasy position for him.

“On the basketball court I’m lobbing up 20 to 25 shots a game so I don’t have to worry about playing defense,” said Ellis. “But in this case they’re the ones who are lobbing shots my way, but instead of shots, it’s damning evidence like copies unsolicited cell phone photos of my penis that I sent to a woman who worked for the team until she got canned for reporting me.”

The accuser, Erika Smith, claims she was fired by the team after reporting Ellis’s frequent and unsolicited advances to management. Ellis says he was confused by Smith’s title for the Warriors, where she served as the team’s head of community relations.

“I had no idea was community relations meant, but I assumed it meant she was available for sexual relations with men in the community, myself included,” said Ellis. “Being a natural scorer I am, I went on the offensive. But now here I am, asked to play defense for the first time ever, and let me tell you one thing: Playing defense sucks.”