While rumors have been swirling of Ohio State’s reported hiring of Urban Meyer as their next head football coach, Big Ten rival Penn State followed up by announcing the hire of Meyer’s younger (and lesser known) brother Rural Meyer.

Unlike Urban, Rural has kept a lower profile and brings a different skill set to the table. Although he played some football in high school, his career focus had been on his Ohio-based pig farm.

“It’s been some time since I played me some football,” said Rural. “Don’t know much about the X’s and O’s, but most call me an expert on the pig skin!”

Penn State officials also called the move “the perfect fit” as they attempt to rebuild the much tarnished reputation of their football program.

“We knew Rural was our man as soon as he moseyed through the door,” exclaimed Penn State spokesman John Duke. “He comes from a respected football family and won’t bring further scrutiny to our program. If we’re lucky, he may even win us some football games!”

By Brian Berns

Heckler Brian