When Patriots Rob Gronkowski landed awkwardly on his neck while scoring his second TD of the night Monday, concerns were immediately set off that he may have suffered a concussion. The six-foot-seven tight end downplayed further reports that he had indeed suffered head trauma, claiming he “just really stupid.”

“Me not suffer concussion,” said Gronkowski. “Me just really stupid to start with.”

Patriots coach Bill Belichick, perhaps reluctant to lose one of his prime offensive weapons, quickly took Gronkowski at his word and insisted he shouldn’t miss any upcoming games.

“Look, no coach in the NFL takes this concussion nonsense more seriously than me,” said Belichick. “But we all know Rob is a complete moron, so I don’t know how you’d test him for delayed brain activity in the first place.”

Added Gronkowski, “Me go have unprotected sex with porn star now.”

hecklerstaff