After working a recent Mets game in ESPN booth earlier this month Bobby Valentine snuck his way into New York’s clubhouse where he managed to work for three games until his ruse was discovered. He disguised himself as Ryota Igarashi’s translator, and due to his perfect grasp of the Japanese language, almost got away with it.
“I apologize for my actions. I just got really caught up in the atmosphere,” said a remorseful Valentine after being caught. “I loved my time in New York and just wanted to relive it for a few days.”
Bobby V is no stranger to wearing disguises. After an ejection in 1999, he remained in the dugout wearing sunglasses and a fake mustache to trick the umpiring crew. This time, Valentine wore a Fu Manchu, eyeglasses, and fake buck teeth.
“We should have known it was him,” said David Wright. “His costume was actually pretty racist in retrospect.”
Valentine insists he had no ulterior motive, and just wanted to be a part of the Mets family once again. He “couldn’t pass up the opportunity to meet Chewbacca and the Besty Ross and Manny Pacquiao impersonators,” at last week’s three-for-one promotional Star Wars/Knitting/Filipino Heritage night game at Citi Field, a new cost-cutting promo package implicated by the Wilpons.
Ultimately, Valentine was discovered when he clashed with manager Terry Collins in the dugout.
“He blended right in for three games,” said Collins. “But then he started setting our defensive alignments, and called for a pinch hitter in the eighth against my authority.”
Valentine will not be reprimanded by ESPN or the Mets and remains one of the favorites to replace Terry Collins after next year’s obligatory terrible start.