Speaking at a press conference after performing Tommy John surgery on Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain last week, Dr. James Andrews reported that although the surgery “went smoothly,” Chamberlain made “some strange demands” in the recovery room.
“He kept on laughing this deep, guttural laugh. Kind of like ‘ho, ho, ho’,” Andrews said. “He would only refer to me as ‘So-Lo,’ and when the nurses came in, he demanded that they change into gold bikinis.”
After complaints from the nursing staff, hospital administrators explained to Chamberlain that gold bikinis were not considered professional attire. The head nurse claims this news only enraged Chamberlain further.
“He kept saying, ‘All of Joba’s slaves wear gold bikinis!’” the head nurse fumed. “That’s when I decided to up the dosage on his medication, knock his ass out.”
An insider who did not want to be named suggested that Chamberlain has a strange obsession with Jabba the Hut and Star Wars.
“Joba is all about comparing himself and the rest of the Yankees to characters in ‘Star Wars,'” the insider claimed. “Not surprisingly, he calls A-Rod Boba Fett.”
“I’m sure it was just the anesthetic wearing off,” Andrews interjected. “Mr. Chamberlain is fine now. He will begin the normal course of physical therapy within a few days.”
The recovering Chamberlain could not be reached for comment. His representatives would only say that he plans to start work on an undisclosed “hut-building project.”