Anyone who thought Brett Favre would quietly drift into retirement … thought wrong. According to sources, Aaron Rodgers’ Super Bowl win left Favre furious, and ultimately caused him to put off retirement once again.
“This may come as a complete surprise to most people, but Brett is extremely vain,” said one unidentified source. “He’ll never admit it, but having [Rodgers] match his championship total left him devastated. He can’t imagine letting Aaron surpass his legacy.”
At first, Favre considered coming back to the NFL for one last try, but close friends reminded him he was last seen being thrown to the ground by the league’s 323rd best defensive lineman. That’s when it dawned on Favre that the perfect place for him is in the Lingerie Football League.
“I’m baaaack!” said Favre, at an impromptu press conference that took place in the back of his pick-up. “This is where I belong. I look forward to a long and distinguished career in the LFL.”
Favre did not indicate which team he wants to play for, saying, “I’ll have to pick up the February issue of Playboy and take a look. I’ve been texting with some of the girls, though, so I have a decent idea of who may want to play with me.”
In typical Favre fashion, the aging QB refused to acknowledge his comeback had anything to do with Rodgers’ recent success, saying that it’s all about his love for football.
“I just can’t wait to get my hands under center,” he said, creepily. “Ohhh yeah. He he he.”
By Rob Winn