Cubs left fielder Alfonso Soriano has had his fair share of defensive struggles this season, and in order to hopefully combat his miscues, a prayer group has been formed in left field to garner support from the Almighty. Father Michael Francis Laresco, a regular participant in the new group, commented on the practice.

“That poor Soriano needs God’s help every time he has a ball hit to him,” said Father Laresco. “We are only here to beg for God to give him a little extra.”

Cubs skipper Lou Piniella was happy about the move.

“The presence of the Lord has been missing from left field for a long time now,” said Piniella. “We’ll take all the help we can get.”

Other members of the organization, like right fielder Milton Bradley, were upset about the new seating section.

“I’m not sure why I can’t get a prayer group too,” he said. “When I tossed that ball in the stands on the second out? I really could have used some help on that one.”

From the August 2009 issue by Andy Landgrebe

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