Before the season started, this weekend’s Cubs-Mets series at Wrigley Field promised to feature a pair of National League contenders. Instead, neither team has lived up to the hype. The Mets have been particularly disappointing, with nearly every key player currently on the DL. Fortunately for Cubs fans, their team beat a bunch of guys no one has ever heard of who happened to be wearing Mets uniforms.

Alfonso Soriano decided to make an impact that wasn’t negative for the first time in a month with a three-run eighth-inning homer off some dude named Brian Stokes, who almost certainly will be back in Double-A come next April. The homer put the Cubs up 5-2, which wound up being the final score.

Even Mets manager Jerry Manuel had trouble keeping the nearly anonymous players on his roster straight.

“After Stoke gave up that homer, I wanted to pull him for Nick Evans,” said Manuel, whose Mets are now 58-71. “Turns out he’s an outfielder. My bad.”

Instead Manuel replace Stokes with Elmer Dessens, a wash-up who probably would have retired after last season when he had a 22.50 ERA with the Braves. Manuel insists he doesn’t really care anymore.

“It’s all really the same at this point,” said Manuel. “I started phoning it in months ago. I mean, c’mon. We’re the Mets.”

By Brad Zibung, founder and editor in chief