The Blackhawks met their potential first round playoff rival at the United Center Sunday, and the Canucks sent back a clear message, “We are not above fighting like school girls if it helps us win.” 

Vancouver scored early and often, taking a 3-0 lead into the third period on the strength of two goals and an assist by forward Daniel Sedin.

Frustration began to set in when the Hawks Dustin Byfuglien was stopped at point blank range by the Canucks goal-tender Roberto Luongo and responded by punching the net-minder in the head.

“I’m not sure why I did it,” said Byfuglien after the game. “There’s just something about Luongo’s face that makes me want to put my fist in his eye. He probably gets that a lot.”

Vancouver took exception to the blow, resulting in a wild melee with Hawks brawlers Ben Eager and Adam Burish lucky enough to be on the ice to participate.  Hawks defenseman Duncan Keith may have gotten the worst of it, taking down his opponent Alex Burrows only to have the Canuck grab a handful of his hair and hold on for dear life.

“There was a lot of hair pulling and crying,” said Keith. “Eager and Bieksa were busy pulling each others clothes off while Burish chased Henrik Sedin around the rink. I think that’s where that high pitched scream was coming from.”

By the time the officials regained control, six Blackhawks crowded the penalty box. The Canucks went on to win the game 4-0, pulling them ahead of the Hawks in the standings with a head-to-head tie breaker.

Tips for the Bandwagon fan: The goal-tender is generally considered off limits in the physical side of hockey, and players are trained from birth to defend their goalie at nearly any cost.  It is considered a cowardly act to pick a fight with a nearly defenseless net-minder, but on rare occasions goalies will fight each other. This looks similar to two blind men in sumo suits wrestling on a stack of banana peels.

heckler editorial staff