Ozzie Guillen has recently taken criticism for putting faith in Jose Contreras’ arm and shortly after it was announced that Contreras would play the 2009 season bound to a wheelchair, they stand by their decision.

“Of course I not concerned,” said Guillen. Real men don’t get concerned, you know? And I’m a real man,”

Contreras claimed to have control of his pitches and had hit 68 mph with his fastball.  He did, however, admit to having trouble with defensive fielding.

“I have a real hard time wheeling up to bunts,” said Contreras. “Those are a sure single against me. Maybe even a double.”

Sox GM Kenny Williams expressed concerns about the unprecedented nature of the situation, but explained that the Americans with Disabilities Act prevented him from doing anything about it.

Guillen was far more optimistic, saying, “Look, Jose is at least 67 years old.  I’m only 45.  If this works out, then I might be the one to take care of our second base problem.”

heckler editorial staff